1. What is his message?
2. What are the main styles that he uses in stanza one, two then three.
3. What effect does this build up and how does it create a strong mood or effects on the reader.
You should comment on semantic fields, ononatopoeia, sibilants, plosives, thick sounds, rhyme, regular schemes, short, weirdly sliced up lines, the similes he uses, the sensory language and when he appeals to the reader using the second person pronoun and subjunctive, ‘if’.
Give by Simon Armitage. Task, write another paragraph about stanza three. You can submit it in the comment box below if you like.TARGETS
Creative Writing: punctuation, grammar
More Complex Sentences:
This room is pale smoked mauve, like tired eyelids, matte with a map and posters and proper art, framed behind glass, gleaming. Gold dots dance with the late afternoon light, turning the plum sofa pink, crumpled with sitting.
Non-comma Version:This room is pale smoked mauve. The walls are matte, like tired eyelids, with a map and posters and proper art. The pictures are framed behind glass. They are gleaming. Gold dots dance with the late afternoon light. The light is turning the plum sofa pink. The sofa is crumpled with sitting.
[2]
Simple
The bus stopped randomly making my head swing forward and wake me up. I looked up to see what had happened. Several four by fours surrounded the bus. Each four by four had a two seater cabin and an enclosure on the back that could have six men in it.
The bus stopped randomly making my head swing forward and wake me up.
Reverse order:
My head swung forward, waking me up, as the bus stopped abruptly.
Shorten or make more specific/sensory
I looked into a sudden fierce glare.
I looked up.
Use Commas
Several four by fours surrounded the bus, each with a two seater cabin and an enclosure on the back that could have six men in it.