Band 1 (roughly F-G)
the writer uses descriptive language such as ‘paradise’
Band 2 (roughly D-E)
the writer uses descriptive anguage such as ‘paradise’ to show how beautiful the valley is. this is better, but the student has still included no context.
Band 3 (roughly B-C)
the writer uses descriptive language such as ‘paradise’ to show how beautiful the valley is. The words suggests that after walking for so long in the frozen snow, the characters have stumbled on a place that makes them feel confident they’ll be rescued.
Band 4 (roughly equivalent to A-A*)
the writer uses descriptive language such as ‘paradise’ to show how beautiful the valley is. The words suggests that after walking for so long in the frozen snow, the characters have stumbled on a place that feels like heaven which makes them feel confident they’ll be rescued. The religious metaphor is continued with the words ‘blessed valley’ and ‘garden of eden’ the writer’s choice of language is almost suggesting a miracle has happened: the hand of god or some form of higher being has led them to this divine place and salvation.